Imagine you're from London or Seattle, and for months you've planned a warm summer vacation in Laguna Beach only to arrive and it's cold, drab and drizzly.
You know it's bad when tourists are wishing they would have stayed home.
It's official: Summer has not really arrived in Laguna Beach, with temperatures consistently below average and the marine layer hovering like a wet blanket.
It must be global cooling.
In both June and July, there was only one day each month above the historical average — barely, by one degree.
We have been below average by four, five or sometimes up to 10 degrees for days on end.
To add insult to the cold, the fog, mist, clouds, gloom — whatever you want to call it — has stuck, sometimes all day, blocking the sun completely.
You expect by now to say, "Oh, it will clear by noon."
But it doesn't.
"It's cold," said Pascuala Serrano, from Indio, who was bundled on the beach with her 8-year-old daughter, Milagro. They came into Laguna for a weekend getaway.
"We were expecting more sun," she said. "My daughter asked me, 'Where is the sun?'"
No one knows.
Laguna has turned into some foreboding "Game of Thrones" kingdom. We are the Kingdom of Gloom, ruled by the House of Grayness.
Our land ends as far as you can see, which on a good day might be Catalina Island. On most days, however, it's Bird Rock.
To the east, we have our hill clan and canyon woodsmen, who get more sun and privately make fun of us beach lowlanders for starting to grow moss on our bodies.
We already have gills, making us look a bit like groupers.
You expect these things in London or Seattle. Having lived in Seattle for 10 years, I could easily go without sun for three or four years and not think anything of it.
In fact, I still have moss.
Here, when we go to the Rooftop in July, we don't want to curl up under blue blankies and order hot chocolate.
It's messed up.